‘They were singing along,’ the words of my autistic daughter after act one of Starlight Express. She was most disgruntled because we had been asked not to sing during the performance to avoid ruining the experience for others. Why would anyone dream of not obeying the rules? Seriously, rules are there to be followed!
Many autistic people are like my daughter and me, determined to play by the rules, in a black and white world, where there is a distinct lack of grey. In fact, when we don’t follow the rules, we start to panic, causing great distress. Why are we like this? What is it in the autistic brain that makes us love to follow rules?
Firstly, this is not a trait exclusive to all autistic people. Some love to follow rules, whilst others are indifferent to rules. The rule is often evaluated for its function, and if it does not make sense to them, they will not follow it. (1) Autistic people prefer order, predictability or routine (2); rules give them the structure and predictability they thrive in. Structure helps autistic people regulate themselves, manage their energy levels and reduce anxiety.
Furthermore, for many autistic people, there are no hard or soft rules (3); if something is not allowed, it is not allowed at all, there is no grey. Rules apply equally to everyone, regardless of status. A lot of autistic people like me get really angry if people don’t follow rules. Queue jumping is one of my biggest rule violations and causes me great anxiety. I simply do not understand why you would do this.
Put simply, rules help make the world make sense and give us guidelines by which we can live in a world that often does not. When you cannot always read the people around you and interpret their words and actions, rules are something which we do understand. Sometimes we may be a little too vocal if we feel like someone has violated the rules, and that gets us into trouble.
If you are ever near us in the theatre, don’t sing along; I will give you evil looks, but my daughter will call you out, and no one wants that, as that girl can be brutal!
- https://embrace-autism.com/autistic-people-and-rules/
- https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/about-autism/preference-for-order-predictability-or-routine
- https://us.specialisterne.com/why-your-autistic-coworkers-dont-bend-rules-the-way-you-do/
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