Do you know that feeling of being uncomfortable? Maybe your jeans are feeling too tight after a heavy meal, or itchy wool against your skin. It can be distracting, but most neurotypical people can cope with the feeling; they can set it to the back of their mind or ignore it. Sadly, this is not the case for many autistic people. The feeling of being uncomfortable becomes all-consuming; it cannot be ignored. It can affect their mood for the rest of the day, leave them distressed and cause meltdowns.

I know personally that clothing needs to be comfortable for me to function throughout the day. If I find something scratchy or too tight, it can cause me to shut down, stop communicating, be unable to concentrate and just feel miserable. The feeling of uncomfortable clothes goes beyond annoyance; it can cause physical pain, like being poked with needles. I therefore take a lot of time choosing my clothing to make sure I am comfortable throughout the day.

My daughter has the same issues, to the point where she now wears an adapted school uniform. When she is uncomfortable, she will go into full meltdown, which includes screaming, head banging and inability to communicate. It is very distressing to witness for the first time. What is important to note is that something which was comfortable one day will feel awful the next. There is no reason for this, but the discomfort she is feeling is real and should not be dismissed. I have this experience as well.

It is very difficult for someone who has never experienced this level of hypersensitivity to comprehend the level of distress clothing can cause, and to comprehend the difficulty parents have in navigating their way through clothing issues. We are now working with our daughter’s new secondary school to find a suitable uniform, and we are pleased to say they are working with us on this. We don’t want to have to spend a fortune on clothing she will not wear; instead, we are going to have a try-on session before meeting with the school.

However, I know that not every school works with parents in the same way. Some schools are not prepared to be flexible with what their students wear. When visiting schools, we quickly dismissed those that were not prepared to be flexible about their uniforms. Maybe they are not flexible on their uniform because they want to discourage neurodiverse students from attending their schools, or maybe I am cynical.

My computer just crashed, and I lost the conclusion to this blog. My brain is now utterly fried, and I have no energy to rewrite it. Basically, schools need to have an accessible uniform policy, and under the Equalities Act 2010, they have to make reasonable adjustments. Sadly, some schools are more reasonable than others. I think if they are, they should get an autistic child ready for school in their uniform and get them to school without affecting their ability to learn. I think that should work……